Susan J. Demas: Nice girls don’t say ‘vagina’ … or ‘motherfucker’

As exhilarating at 2018’s pink wave election was for feminists — those who believe in the radical notion that women are people  — we just got a 12-letter reminder that some things haven’t changed.

After being sworn in, new U.S. Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Detroit) declared of President Trump at an event: “We’re gonna impeach the motherfucker!”

Most of the Washington, D.C., pundit class suddenly came down with a severe case of the vapors and joined the chorus that the congresswoman must apologize.

Now.

Former GOP strategist Matthew Dowd began his admonishment by stressing his Detroit bona fides in the most stilted way possible (“I completely understand and relate to the ‘chip-on-your-shoulder’ grittiness and saltiness of the area.”) He then argued that Tlaib’s swearing “is just something that should not be done when we are seen as examples for our children and for our fellow citizens.”

Dowd acknowledged the president’s potty mouth, although plenty of politicos haven’t while taking it to Tlaib. (My favorite social media comment on one of our stories was someone calling her a “fowl-mouthed woman.”)

Just this week, Trump had to apologize to U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) “for cursing so much” during budget shutdown negotiations.

But Trump’s swearing has never risen to the level of a five-alarm fire story, sucking away all the oxygen in the media.

Why, last year, Time Magazine even helpfully ran this story, “Donald Trump Keeps Cursing. Here’s Why It Might Help Him.” The article said this could solidify “his image as a truthteller unafraid of being politically incorrect.”

Apparently, that maxim does not apply to ladies. Pelosi nailed it on MSNBC, asking, “Let me ask you this, if she was a man,” would there be such a flap over her words?

Of course not.

It’s fashionable nowadays to pretend that sexism in politics doesn’t exist, but the firestorm over Tlaib’s statement can’t be attributed to cursing alone. And it certainly can’t be in the age of Trump, where coarseness is considered a virtue.

It’s true that 2018 was a sea change for Democratic women running — and winning (no, the pink wave wasn’t bipartisan, despite lazy reporting to the contrary).

But it seems that some things haven’t changed much in the last six years.  

Back in 2012, I covered two female lawmakers who were silenced on the Michigan House floor. You might have heard of it. The scandal went international and was quickly dubbed “Vaginagate.”

Here’s what happened.

State Rep. Lisa Brown (D-West Bloomfield) had the audacity to use the word “vagina” during an abortion debate, which is pretty germane to the subject (something obvious to anyone who passed junior high health class). Rep. Barb Byrum (D-Onondaga) deployed the term “vasectomy.”

The male House speaker was none too pleased. Ari Adler, who was press secretary for then-Speaker Jase Bolger (R-Marshall) before filling that role for former Gov. Rick Snyder, accused the women of throwing “temper tantrums,” as I wrote at the time. He said the comments violated the “decorum” of the House and blasted Brown’s in particular for being “inappropriate and uncivilized.”

This, indeed, was a political masterstroke, as it catapulted the lawmakers into the national news cycle and made Michigan a laughingstock.

It was an interesting time to be one of the few female reporters in the Capitol, sitting next to a couple male colleagues who tittered every time a ladypart word was uttered. One Republican lawmaker told me I shouldn’t be covering abortion legislation as a “Vagina-American.”

Good times.

What’s been largely forgotten is that Tlaib had a role in that story, too, back when she was a state representative. In my column, “Nice girls don’t say ‘vagina’,” I noted:

“Curiously, Rep. Rashida Tlaib (D-Detroit), who called for a sex strike in highly specific terms (‘Stop having sex with us, gentleman. Find somebody else to do it with!’) was spared from the ban by GOP leadership. That just adds to the arbitrary and capricious nature of the decision.”

What was inspiring is that a group of female lawmakers, including then-Senate Minority Leader Gretchen Whitmer (D-East Lansing), banded together and put on a reading of “The Vagina Monologues” along with playwright Eve Ensler on the Michigan Capitol steps. I was invited to the private reception beforehand, where Ensler proceeded to tell me during an interview that my red teardrop necklace looked like (what else) a vagina.

More than 5,000 people attended — and yes, it was mostly women. If you want to trace the roots of the Resistance back in Michigan, I’d argue that it started there.

Now we have a president who has shut down the government, leaving thousands of workers without pay during the holidays, because he wants his border wall and he wants it now. His administration has thrown migrant children in cages and forced toddlers to defend themselves alone at deportation hearings. He decried immigrants coming in from “shithole countries.”

Trump has encouraged supporters to be violent on the campaign trail, exhorting them to “knock the crap out of” protestors and vowing to pay their legal fees. He bragged about sexually assaulting a woman, declaring, “When you’re a star, they let you do it.”

And this is just the short list of life under Trump.

Pundits can retreat to their fainting couches over a congresswoman’s curse word. It’s good for ratings and the undying premise that “both sides” are bad.

But if you think women are going to fold in the face of controversy and shut up like good little girls, well, you obviously haven’t been paying attention.